Taking whole carrots to parties probably might not be the best way to make friends but it’s like “the more you know,” right?
You know your family loves and supports you when your 80+ year old grandpa BCC’s you on emails he is sending to potential clients…
I can’t fly.
Just look at me.
That’s, I mean, that’s, that’s pathetic, man! Is that what you wanna do with your life? Suck down peppermint schnapps and try to call Morocco at two in the morning? That’s senseless! But, that’s what happens, man…
Let’s go home, Cliff. There’s no one here left to laugh at or buy us beer.
Don’t second guess yourself. Cause then you’re just guessing twice. And your first guess about yourself was probably wrong, so why on earth would you compound it?
Me: Hey, Mike, what do you think of my moustache?
Mike: Well…. I think I’d like it if it was a little fuller…
Me: Well… Did Aaragorn tell Frodo he’d trust him to talk the ring to Mordor if he was a little taller???
People selling bootlegged DVDs outside of the neighborhood liquor store. Not sure if I’m more upset that: A) I live in a place where people sell bootlegged DVDs outside of the neighborhood liquor store -OR- 2) I realize how little use the “Internet” function of the laptop stolen from me last year is getting.